How to Bring Mind-Blowing Sex
Back Into Your Marriage
Jesus said that nothing would be impossible for you…and that you can move ANY mountain.
If your marriage is currently marked by sex that feels lackluster, non-existent, pain-filled—and you can’t imagine how it could possibly get any better—then I’d say that qualifies as a mountain. And, according to the promise, it WILL move…IF you have faith.
This journey toward awesomeness in sex and in all of life is not one-dimensional. It is not all on God to fix your life…nor is it all on you. It’s a partnership. It is “both…and” not “either…or”.
So before we go further into how to have faith, I really need you to get this. Your path to victory is not going to be one in which it is done for you.
You must get up, dust off the cobwebs, and go take your promised land in accordance with the promise of God and the power of his declaration over your life.
He shows himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to him. And you show your loyalty by acting in faith as if what he has said is true…even before you see it (as painful as that may be). But maybe this kind of pain is good for us, men. It strengthens us–builds our muscle.
So you have to figure out what you believe. And you have to get it so firmly that you will not falter or waver or draw back in the face of opposition, discouragement, and seeming lack of results.
Don’t be driven by results. Be driven by principle.
Now, I know that you still want to know, “How do I actually have faith to believe for amazing sex with my wife? This all sounds great, but also impossible. You don’t know our history. You don’t know the pain. You don’t know the coldness…”
Trust me. I know you’re hurting. I want to show you the way out. It’s going to be a fight. Will you join me?
Faith goes backwards from how we normally operate.
Normally we need to see evidence of something before we’ll accept it. Faith requires us to accept something as true before we see evidence. In fact our certainty, assurance, belief, faith IS the very evidence.
This gets damn hard when life doesn’t match what we want to believe for. Like when we want to be healed or want to have more money or want to have hot sex a lot…but it just isn’t happening.
And it requires us to make a choice between believing what circumstances whisper to us in our thoughts throughout the day or believing what God has said. And if we have grown in intimacy with God to the point where his word carries more weight than life’s whispers…then we’re on the right track.
So we need to know, then…
What does God say about sex? What does he want for me? What has he declared?
Because, friend, if he’s declared something that doesn’t match your current sex life, then you have license—actually you have the obligation, the duty, to fight for change.
It is your job as a man to fight for the most passionate, intimate, fulfilling sex you and your wife could ever imagine.
How do I know this?
God says it.
Proof from the Bible that God Wants You to Have Really Good Sex
The entire Song of Solomon.
Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, Ephesians 5:31
1 Corinthians 7:5
These verses, brother, paint the most amazing picture of sex you can imagine. There is no prudishness here. There is no business-like duty sex here. There is no guilt, no shame, no modesty here. God is telling you and me that, “Sex in marriage is mind-blowing.”
At least, that’s what he wants it to be. And he’s telling you, “Psst. That’s what it can be. That’s what your marriage can look like. Even now. Stop listening to your own past, and start listening to ME, MY voice.”
So the very first piece of the puzzle in reviving your marriage and having amazing sex again is for you, man—forget about your wife for a moment—for you to change what you believe. Let the truth of God’s heart for sex wash over you and seep into your cells and start to reprogram your DNA so that it matches his truth.
And don’t be a baby and whine to your wife that she needs to see these verses. Or she needs to believe it too. Or she this or that. Don’t!
Don’t be a little boy who needs his wife to make him feel better.
Do this for yourself. Be a man who gets his mental and emotional crap together and believes good healthy kingdom thoughts. Your woman will be drawn to you when you blaze your own trail into kingdom thinking and you don’t give a crap about whether she joins you there or not.
You’re on a non-negotiable mission to become a better man…and that includes a better sexual man.
But my telling you a list of verses is not going to do jack in changing your beliefs or getting you better sex. In fact, it’s very possible that, at this moment, that the pain of your unfulfilling sex life is way louder and stronger in your brain than the wishful-thinking-sounding words from the Bible. I get that.
This is the part where you go to war.
You must take action for yourself. You have to decide whether you are going to live in the self-pity of wound licking and continue listening to the lies that awesome sex is just not in the cards for you—or whether you’re going to find the manly courage, strength, and grit that Jesus injected into your DNA and choose to believe it can be different.
Because if you say that you follow Jesus and you believe the Bible, then, as a man, you’ve got to be authentic. You’ve got to actually believe it all the way through.
That means, when you read Proverbs 5 and see, “May her breasts satisfy you always, and may you forever be intoxicated by her love,” you’re going to have to overcome the initial gut-wrenching wave of self-pity that rises up, and to push through to the place of saying, “No! I will not agree with those feelings anymore! God has spoken this possibility, this promise, over me, and, damnit, I will fight for it!”
But how do you get there? How do you actually become that kind of man?
Understanding what God wants for you is a crucial part of this process, but it’s only a part.
If you’re tired of banging your head against the wall (instead of banging other things) over and over again wondering why the hell all of the romantic things that used to turn your wife on now seem to just push her away…
If you’re praying constantly, crying out to God, “Will you please heal my marriage…”
If you’ve scoured books and articles and pastors and all the right Christian sources for how to fix your sex life, and you’re still coming up dry…
If you wake up every day with the pit in your stomach and the voice in your mind telling you that “She doesn’t want you, and you’re also a pretty big failure…”
If you wish that you could, for the life of you, figure out how to just be confident and feel like you are a Man’s Man, a real man whose wife is REALLY attracted to him…
Then head to the next page, where we will look at the keys to sexual heat, manly confidence, and taking life by the balls–that no one in church ever told you.
There is hope, brother. Just because you haven’t gotten your breakthrough yet, doesn’t mean that it’s never going to come. It will. Jesus is with you.